Partay Animals

I thoroughly enjoy going to the zoo. I dig all creatures great and small.

Be forewarned, because you'll see this annoying dude. He usually has on khaki shorts, because for some reason he thought that he wasn't just going to the zoo, but that he was going to go into the actual fucking wild.

Because everytime you go to the zoo, there's always that one douchebag who says:
"Man, you kind of feel bad for those animals eh? They look so bored..."

And sometimes they press their face up to the glass and say:
"You don't want to be locked up in here, do you? You want to be out there in the wild"

And the rest of us are all standing around like "Fuck you, man. We ALL just spent $22.50 to check out some animals; don't ruin it!". Because he obviously doesn't feel that bad after he snaps 208 pictures of that same animal. I hate to crush your little world pretentious freedom fighter, but that $7 souvenir cup with the rhinoceros on the front filled with red slushy drink? Didn't do shit to "free" the animals either.

I mean, obviously these animals look bored. Have you ever watched the Discovery Channel? I'm sorry, but animals are fucking boring. When they're not hunting, they're sleeping. that's what they like to do. They don't dance around the wild singing songs about how they'll rule the jungle after their father dies a la the Lion King, or do whatever they did in that Madagascar (what happened in that movie anyway?).

I mean, if even the tv-worthy discovery channel footage is boring, I'd hate to see the shit they take out.

How interesting are you Mr.khaki shorts when you're just trying to live? I can just picture this bastard now going to some sketchy Thai zoo where bears in chains juggle whilst hoisted on medicine balls and him saying "see, these... these animals look like they're enjoying themselves". I totally just wrote Thailandese. Is that a word? Why do I feel in my soul that it is, but feel in my brain that it is not....

Granted some animals get bored and some go crazy in captivity. But I'm sure animals in the wild get a little crazzzay too. that's why they call them "wild".