The other day my brain carpal-tunnelled. Who knew that could happen, but it can. I was online for far too long researching the origin of April Fool's Day, the crimes committed by the church of Scientology, and the top tracks of the 90's (one of these things don't belong.... well, actually none of them really make logical sense). Anyway, the point is my brain got annoyed and shut down. So... lesson learned: Get a life.

Work makes me lazy, going to the gym after work makes me tired and this leads me to watch far too many hours of online streaming television and has me clocking in far too many hours researching unimportant facts. It makes my brain pissed off, much in the same way my body gets pissed off if I eat junk food. Junk information. You know what food will never in your life make you feel good or sexy? Twinkies. Don't try to argue with me, it's true. Twinkies are the globally known food of choice for all obese motherfuckers and they will always be known as a lonely, depressed, empty food (can I type motherfuckers when I'm at work? I guess we'll see. I know I've typed other words in emails and my computer froze... coincidence? I think not).

And really, just a word of warning, Twinkies don't taste good. If you're going to get fat off something, at least make it delicious. Twinkies are the dryest, crumbliest, uncomfortably-sweet snack cake. I know sometimes when you're at 7/11 you see them and think "oooh, maybe I should just splurge, eat me some Twinkies". NO. they taste like shit and if you're going to be bad to your body do it right. Bake a Betty Crocker box cake. OR! Get those madeleines from Starbucks. Fantastic.

On that fatass sidenote, I realized I bring an apple to work every day and like 4 out of the days I do so, I completely forgo the apple and buy banana loaf or chips or something else unhealthy. Today we got free cupcakes at work. yay.