A Good Video Store

There is an awesome independently run video store about 2 minutes from my house and if you live in my general vicinity, you KNOW which one I'm talking about and you KNOW the awesome people that work there. It brings out that small town vibe. Call me Rory Gilmore.

In any case, since early last Fall, I have been madly obsessed with this video store. People have stopped asking me my plans for Friday nights because I have been holed up at home most Fridays watching my movies and when I do have plans for Friday night, my movie nights are changed to Saturday nights and if I happen to be busy both nights (what? It happens! I totally have friends....) then a hole forms in my heart. A hole only romantic comedies and action flicks could fill.

In fact, let me take you back to last Spring 2008. People were talking movies and such and such movie and if I knew who such and such actor was. "No, I'm not much of a movie person", I'd say. But my. oh. my. how the situation has reversed. If only they could see me now, Don Cheadle this and Tilda Swinton that (why those actors? I don't know).

But let me just say this. This is a very good video store not because of the close proximity, prices (which are about the same as the big box places), but because of the lack of judgment. All good shopkeeps whether they be doolin' out porn, alcohol or lottery tickets know when to keep their mouths shut and let the addiction be. Honestly. There is never any judgment or questions of "Haven't you got any friends?" Because of course I don't. I rent two movies every Friday. He knows it, I know it, but we don't say it. And there's no judgment when I return those movies and get an additional movie the following day. Or when I spend twenty minutes glaring at "The Constant Gardener" wondering if today is the day I'll actually watch it (still haven't). And no judgment of whether I should just buy the movie when I've rented The Devil wears Prada thrice.

I mean, essentially it's something to do that feels like a definite plan (which maybe sounds a little lonely). Most Fridays I'm far too tired to do much of anything. I've likely had just shy of 5 hours of sleep (terrible, terrible), I go workout and then by the time I'm home, showered and dinnered, it's already 9-10 o'clock and I'm ready to sleep. My movies are just a soundtrack to my dreams.

Then I wake up in the wee hours of the night, panick that I still have two movies to watch and power through them before they're due. Often I only have time for one, so the other one is wasted money.

It's a routine, anyway.

Sociopath

Those that know me know that I'm a sociopath. Wait, no, sociophobe (I hope my employers, both past and present read that... which, FYI-if you Google my full name, it totally leads you to my blog... which... I should probably figure out how to stop...). I think it's moreso this immense dislike for small talk and fake smilery, so I attempt to avoid it. I don't like washing my hands adjacent to other people in the bathroom because I feel obligated to make conversation, and what kind of material have you got to work with in bathroom (that sounds really gross)?

Hence, THIS:

I know, I know, messy and poorly scanned. And apparently I have some weird mark on my scanner^^ do you see? Do you see? HOWEVER, I have connected my scanner to my old computer and have no desire to stay on that thing for any longer than I have to. So yeahhh

Speaking of small talk, you know what drives me nuts? I always find there's someone in the workplace that talks to themselves. And it's like, am I supposed to answer or inquire into your mild tourette's outbursts? I don't think so. I don't like to encourage this type of behavior. These little Twitter-like snippets of complaints or comments impede on my mind-grapes.

Ex: "Oh shoot! Well, that's no good!"
I mean, obviously if you're in close proximity, this is meant to bring up questions like "What? What's no good?" But honestly, I don't care. Especially if you're complaining or in a bad mood. I don't like hearing people complain directly to me, why would I bring it upon myself to inquire further into YOUR complaint?

Anyway.

The other day my brain carpal-tunnelled. Who knew that could happen, but it can. I was online for far too long researching the origin of April Fool's Day, the crimes committed by the church of Scientology, and the top tracks of the 90's (one of these things don't belong.... well, actually none of them really make logical sense). Anyway, the point is my brain got annoyed and shut down. So... lesson learned: Get a life.

Work makes me lazy, going to the gym after work makes me tired and this leads me to watch far too many hours of online streaming television and has me clocking in far too many hours researching unimportant facts. It makes my brain pissed off, much in the same way my body gets pissed off if I eat junk food. Junk information. You know what food will never in your life make you feel good or sexy? Twinkies. Don't try to argue with me, it's true. Twinkies are the globally known food of choice for all obese motherfuckers and they will always be known as a lonely, depressed, empty food (can I type motherfuckers when I'm at work? I guess we'll see. I know I've typed other words in emails and my computer froze... coincidence? I think not).

And really, just a word of warning, Twinkies don't taste good. If you're going to get fat off something, at least make it delicious. Twinkies are the dryest, crumbliest, uncomfortably-sweet snack cake. I know sometimes when you're at 7/11 you see them and think "oooh, maybe I should just splurge, eat me some Twinkies". NO. they taste like shit and if you're going to be bad to your body do it right. Bake a Betty Crocker box cake. OR! Get those madeleines from Starbucks. Fantastic.

On that fatass sidenote, I realized I bring an apple to work every day and like 4 out of the days I do so, I completely forgo the apple and buy banana loaf or chips or something else unhealthy. Today we got free cupcakes at work. yay.